There Is Thunder in Our Hearts: A TIF Fanmix

These Inconvenient Fireworks, written by the elusive everydayslike and mdasch (they choose to completely be anonymous) is already one of the highlights of my 2013 and reading it felt like Christmas in February. I can’t disclose the full details of the story since the authors expressed that they would really love to “keep the fourth wall as firmly intact as possible” (you can read about it here) but it’s an alternate universe fic that features my favorite pairing in the fandom universe and in real life.

These Inconvenient Fireworks’ amazing narrative is a fable of friendship and a redemption story that feels true to life and I can’t get over how realistic everything about it feels and how well-written it is. Hands down, this gem is one of the most well-written I’ve read so far. It was so incredible that it made me forget it has to end—nothing dragged on and I loved how the relationships of the lads with one another were not neglected because they all do matter to one another. The best thing about it is how inspiring it is and how my friends and I seriously considered the life choices we’ve made for the past few years until now.

This fanmix ‘There Is Thunder in Our Hearts’ is about the primary pairing in These Inconvenient Fireworks: H and L (my ship, my OTP for life) and their beautiful and painful journey of coming together, falling apart and coming together again.

Tracklist and lyrics are beyond the cut. Proceed with caution though for spoilers.

Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng

So what do I do with this?
This stray Italian greyhound,
these inconvenient fireworks?
This ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought?
God, I just want to lay down
These colors make my eyes hurt
This feeling calls for everything that I am not.

– Of course I have to include it. It’s an adorable song about the surprise of unexpected giddy feelings about someone. Also, this is the song the authors based the title on.

Distance by Christina Perri
Please don’t  stand so close to me, I’m having trouble breathing
I’m afraid of what you’ll see, right now
I’ll give you everything I am
All my broken heartbeats until I know you’ll understand.
And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say “I love you” when you’re not listening
And how long can we keep this up, up, up?

– WTH seriously, the lyrics reminds me of L *pukes blood*

Can’t Help Falling In Love by Ingrid Michaelson
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
If I can’t help falling in love with you.
Like a river flows, surely to the sea
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you.

– Play this while reading a certain part of chapter 10 and the effect is absolutely shattering (heart, body and soul).

Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap
A moment, a love
A dream, aloud
A kiss, a cry
Our rights, our wrongs.

– H and L are made for each other and this song just nails the feeling of experiencing the possibility of a new love in your life and you’re scared but at the same time there’s that pure bliss you can’t help but feel when you’re with that person.

Shiver, Shiver by Walk the Moon
You leave these marks up on my neck
Still there… I know but I still check
Thump, thump the thumping in my chest
As I loose the feeling in my fingertips
When you are close to me I shiver.

– Perfect song for H and L especially the amount of fun they have when they have sex and just can’t keep their hands off each other.

Look After You by The Fray
There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go
Will you won’t you, be the one I always know
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down.

– It’s the tender parts in between, though, that are really started to get to L and it got to me too (this song’s lyrics though). Sometimes they only touch each other in little brushes or slaps, only smile at each other over curry. Some nights they just fall asleep on the sofa halfway through whatever they’re watching, L exhausted from work and rehearsals and H catching up for how early he always has to get up for class.

High For This by The Weekend
I swear I’m right here
We’ll be good; I promise
We’ll be so good.

– H & L sex songs. Mmmm.

This Love (Will Be Your Downfall) by Ellie Goulding

I don’t think you know me much at all.
This love is be and end all
This love will be your downfall
I’m feeling down about this love
Who are you to make me feel so good?
Who are we to tell ourselves that we’re misunderstood?
Oh who am I to say I’m always yours?
Who am I to choose the boy that everyone adores?

– When H told L about the “news” and L just pulls away completely. Wow, my eyes feel warm.

Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars
I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don’t have a choice but I’d still choose you.
Oh I don’t love you but I always will.

– I am imagining the part where the lads went out to dinner and H gives a toast to Z and L.P and what happens throughout the whole dinner, with L not talking to H at all. He feels H’s breath on his skin as he presses a kiss to L’ forehead, and then he’s gone. What is this sudden pain?

With or Without You by U2
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
With or without you
With or without you
Through the storm, we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

– In my mind this plays when L watches the footy team say their farewells to H during a match and that painful moment between them in the pitch after the match (replace the ‘she’ with a ‘he’). Ugh tears and the amount of tension and angst between them.

To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra
And I built a home,
for you
for me
Until it disappeared
from me
from you.
And now, it’s time to leave and turn to dust.

– This song right after their moment in the pitch up until the platform. The chaos and the angst. I just. UGH.

Six Degrees of Separation by The Script
You hit the drink, you take a toke
Watch the past go up in smoke.
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,
You’re better now than ever, and your life’s okay
When it’s not. No.

– When H moved to London and what was happening to L the whole time. It’s perfect and my feelings are all over the place now.

I Can Barely Say by The Fray
If I can find my way home
Will you take hold of me?
I been gone so long
I can barely say
All I know is now I want to stay
Has it been too long
Since I went away?
’Cause I’m trying to find the words
But I can barely say.

– For both H and L. It’s an ache and a shadow and it’s his, and he lives with it now. Sometimes it’s almost enough to make him feel like he’s not alone in his bed and If he has to miss somebody forever, at least he picked a good one. . Someone help me my eyes are warm.

Come Around by Rosi Golan

I could lie to you all my days
But you’re the one, you’re the one
And I’m a fool
For waiting so long to let you know.
Come around, come around, come around, come around to me
There’s something in between you and I
Come around, come around to me.
You feel like breathing
Come around, come around, come around, come around to me.
Like sunlight won’t you come
Lay your ray down, you’re the one
I could run, I could run for the life of me
But where would that get me?
Where would that lead?

– L running and running towards it and that painfully emotional encounter at London with H. What are these tears?

Heavy by Holly Brook
Born unto this pride
Silence is something you can’t hide
You can’t deny us.
Nothing has been said
Yet so many words have filled my head
And now they completely surround me
Tie the lines of honest conductivity
Caught between the center of our gravity
I don’t have that much time to burn anymore.
You can go heavy on me
And I will not weigh you down, down, down

– Play this when H and L go back to their flat and … wow why are my emotions all over the place again?

Rainy Zurich by The Fray
I’ll keep you warm
Dancing in a downpour
And I will hold
Your body slowly turning
I’ll keep you warm.
Dancing in a downpour,
Breathe it in, take it off
And soak our skin.

– The title should be renamed as Rainy London, because. And replace all the “she” with “he” in the rest of the lyrics and it’s completely effective.

Set Down Your Glass by Snow Patrol
And you say you’ll sew me good as new and I know you will.
And I’m shaken then I’m still,
When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Like to tell you all I want is now.

– When they talk and Benji’s flat. I’m in physical pain.

Wonderwall by Oasis
And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how
I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me?
And after all
You’re my wonderwall.

♥ This song though.

Finally Begins by Cold War Kids
Finally open my arms wide
Finally I let you inside
Finally made it past the end
To finally begin

Weigh the pros but the cons come first
I’ve got a black belt in doubt
I get claustrophobic
All these open doors around
Still the pros are the hardest to ignore

I’ve never felt this light before
I took off my sunglasses
And waited for the words
When we go out tonight
I’ll be looking so far past the flashing lights

Where and when
The hours we keep, the days we save
They add up to years, now face to face
With you by my side, now I can stand, to finally begin

THIS WHOLE SONG. The authors said if there needed to be an end credits to the whole fic and this would play in the end credits– for all five of them but most especially for L. It’s perfect!

Note: This is just Part I of the TIF fanmix I’m making. Part II deals with separate playlists about H and L. Thank you to J for the song recommendations! Holly Brook is a sweet discovery. Watch out for Part II of the fanmix *ismag*

+++

I’m not a stranger to making fanmixes over fandom I love but this is the first time I’m sharing one I’ve made publicly and it’s dedicated to probably one of the best fanfics out there across any fandom… seriously. Let me just say as an introduction that my not-so-secret fandom came in one day and ruined my life and being already a fanfic reader since high school, I’ve decided to take it one step further since my life has already been haphazardly consumed by the love of the lads so why not read a fic related this is recent fandom of mine?

The whole experience was mind blowing to say the least and I practically spammed my Facebook and Twitter about my uncontrollable feelings about it especially when it’s only the fourth chapter and you’re already losing your mind (mind you, it’s a total of 25 chapters). When you’re up at 4 a.m. still reading and constantly screeching in front of your computer screen, wishing to crawl into a hole (preferably a hole to the TIF universe) and never come out, you know this isn’t just being “into deep.” It amazed me how I became so emotionally invested in the story—sleep cycle ruined, holyshitthisisamazing and jesustakethedamnwheel running into your head the whole time at every single chapter while making you laugh like a hyena and sob (full on gross embarrassing sobbing and wailing I’m not joking)—I mean, that’s got to say something about this story right? This never happened to me before. It doesn’t help that it’s so damn well-written and balance of various elements (comedy, romance, sex, angst) was utterly perfect. The whole fic I swear is unbelievably quotable. I’m not exaggerating at all. I HAD to share it with my friends and we were stuck with the problem of “is there life after TIF?” because seriously everything hurt afterwards and rendered us to completely incapable of functioning normally and carrying on with our lives (we’re so invested with it, it’s INSANE). J, N and I felt we have dug a grave in the deepest pit beyond hell, in some universe several unfathomable distance away from this plane of reality and we have ceased breathing along the story.

But yeah, is there life after TIF? Yes, there is. J and I recommend you read it twice (torture ourselves guys, yeah we love it), just to exorcise the initial feelings that came after the first read. The first read is terrible and by terrible I mean it’s so good that it hurts immediately right after and you’re a mess of overwhelming emotions.

To the authors of this treasure and fellow fans of both the story and this certain fandom, bless you all. Bless! I love you all to death.

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2 Comments

Filed under Music

2 responses to “There Is Thunder in Our Hearts: A TIF Fanmix

  1. Pingback: Strange How We Fit Each Other: A Haz TIF fanmix | arisfael

  2. Pingback: A Love That Won’t Sit Still: A Lou TIF fanmix | arisfael

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